So the race I so dearly love just shot me straight through the heart. I had a good swim for me out here in this big sea swell. Was very happy with 1:07. Had good transition and was off on the bike feeling strong. Then just under an hour into the bike we had to do a hard right turn and go up a hill. I took the turn maybe bit fast and went over the edge a bit into gravel but stayed sort of on the road and started to go up the hill. Then I heard a loud bang and the guy behind me went ‘oh no’ in a really down hearted way. I thought one of our gas canisters had blown up and thought to myself ‘well it’s not that bad mate’ given his tone of voice. Then I realised my back wheel was flat and it was my tyre had gone bang. Arghhhh. So i got off, got the tyre off, got the new inner on it and then I lost all the co2 gas. It didn’t go in the tyre. So a ref went past on motorbike and I shouted ‘is there a mechanic’? After about ten mins another motorbike appeared with two guys who were supposed to be mechanics. And so commenced the Laurel and Hardy show. I’d have been quicker doing it myself. Then I spotted there was a big inch long cut in my tyre so we had to get that off and get a new one on. Altogether I was at the side of the road for half an hour watching my competitors fly by. I could live with about ten or 15 mins but now my soul had sunk. I decided that it would be stupid to run a marathon on bad legs only to finish. I didn’t come here just to finish. I came here truly believing in my heart that I could get on the podium and get a Kona slot. So I cycled back to the start line with my head down. I felt like a fraud with people clapping me and cheering but I just pulled my visor down to hide the tears. I had gone through many visualisations of every eventuality before the race but this was not one of them.
I now have to pull myself together and go out to support couple of friends who’ll be running their hearts out here very shortly (even though mine is breaking quietly inside).
I feel like I’m having my ‘anus horribilis’ this year and many people will say I should have been a better sport and just finished the race. But with leg injuries I don’t want to make it worse, I want to take this time to fix them and maybe see if I can squeeze in another full distance race this year. I have two halves next month and then I’m representing GB at the triathlon long distance world champs later in the year. I’m also supposed to be climbing Denali in June although given my luck this year I’m not sure how sensible it is to be climbing one of the biggest and very dangerous mountain in the world.
Now I’m going to dry my eyes. Have a shower and go and get drunk on Castle Light beer and cheer my friends on to bring them home.